random conversations
by edwardlover125
Summary: this story is about the twilight character, just doing and talking about random things. please R&R!
1. Chapter 1

(AN: I am sorry to any people who may be offended about how out of character the people are. I was so board and this is what I did. No disrespect to any twilight characters, I have a sick and twisted sense of humor. AND I do Not own twilight or its characters.) 

Random conversations

Edward: Bella, will you go down in the basement and-

Bella: basement!? Its dark down there! And there are spiders!

Edward: You. Are. A. vampire. WTF!

Bella: What were we talking about?

Edward: Basement. Never mind, I'll get Jacob to do it since he is secretly in love with me.

Bella: No he is not. He loves Nessie. I'm so smart!

Edward: Technically since she has my DNA he could be tied back to loving me. Facial!

Bella: O…k?

Edward: Just kidding.


	2. Chapter 2 awkward

(A.N: thank you to the people who read and put an alert on the story. I would love for those people to review so I know what to work with and what to work on. I have about five other chapters written up, so please, if you have any ideas pm them to me. I don't own twilight, unfortunately, or its characters.)

Emmett: I'm **so** board!

Jasper: me too. Lets do something

Emmett: lets go ask Esme awkward questions!

Jasper: okay!

Jasper: Hey E, where do babies come from?

Emmett: yeah, I'm confused.

Esme: oh stop it you two.

Jasper: Oh, Carlisle asked us to ask you if you were experiencing any… you know, feminine needs.

Esme: What are you talking about?

Emmett: He's going to the store and wanted to know if you needed… anything.

Esme: You two! Go torture Jacob.

Jasper: that's a great idea! Thanks mom. Come on Emmypoo.

(A.N: tell me if you want me to use the names or use different fonts for different people. The next chapter was one of my acquaintances favorite. And, I love the name Emmypoo and it comes up in other chapters.)


	3. Chapter 3

(A/N: sorry it has taken soo long. I have a ton of chapters written, my problem is getting them typed up. I couldn't stop laughing when I wrote this one. I love Emmett! I don't own twilight or its characters, sob, sob.)

Jasper: there he is!

Emmett: oh Jazzy, we have to tell. (whispered) send him some curiosity.

Jasper: I know Emmypoo! But we cant! Just think how awkward that would be. And it would break Alice and Rosalie's hearts!

Emmett: I know, everyone would be surprised. Well, except Edward.

Jasper: yes. Edward know of our… meetings.

Jacob: ( whispers) what? (finds Edward) I overheard Emmett and Jasper talking about a… meeting. They said you knew about it.

Edward: Huh? Oh! That, never mind.

(A/N: ok maybe my friends and I only think its funny, but… I wont know unless someone tells me. My next chapter is shorter than this one so I'm going to add it on this one.)

Alice: Hi. ( waves) 

Carlisle: Hi.

( long huh?)


	4. Chapter 4

(A/N: so, do not hate me for not updating. Sorry the chapters aren't very long. It just doesn't fit right, or maybe I'm just lazy. I like this one a lot, and so did my friends.)

Rosalie: I should dye my hair. Maybe black.

Nessie: I don't think you should.

Seth: yeah, its bad for your hair.

Nessie: totally.

Three days later.

Nessie: we told you not to do it.

Rosalie: I hate you two.

Seth: Its not our fault your hair turned purple.

Rosalie: well, I'm holding you responsible.

Nessie and Seth: okay!


	5. Chapter 5

(A/N: one of my friends thought this up, so give props to wanderingchild96! Whoop! Love ya! Okay, back to business. This is funny, so read AND review!)

Edward: Hey, mom.

Esme: Hi.

Edward: Bella and I are going to play Guitar Hero.

Esme: Bella?

Edward: yeah, I'm scared too.

Esme: Just don't break- (window shatters)

Edward: Too late.


	6. blondy

(A/N: thanks for the reviews, but I still need help! Any ideas just PM me. Thanks, and I hope you like this one.)

Rosalie: How do I get my hair back to normal?

Emmett: Go jump/frolic through a meadow of daisies!

Rosalie: how do you figure that will help?

Emmett: It will turn your hair back to blonde with the power of flower dust! Like, duh!

Rosalie: I'm leaving.

Emmett: Do you have a better idea!?

Rosalie: This is crazy, but… blonde hair-dye! (Gasps sarcastically)

Emmett: If you could figure that out, why did you ask me?

Rosalie: …

Emmett: well, your way isn't very imaginative.

Rosalie: excuse me!(walks away mumbling)

Emmett: Ha! I get the last word! Humm… that word shall be… cheese! Ha!


	7. Chapter 7

**(A/N: sorry for the wait, I had a bunch to do at school and then I was too lazy to get on the computer and type new chapters. So, hope you like this one, like always, umm, okay!)**

**Alice: Hola!**

**Bella: I don't speak French,**

**Alice: Its not French, its Spanish.**

**Bella: No. Its French ask Edward!**

**Alice: Ok! Edward, isn't hola Spanish for hello?**

**Edward: Yeah, why?**

**Kermit the frog: hey guys, what's up?**

**Alice: will you please tell Bella that hola is Spanish for hello!**

**Kermit the frog: Oh, I thought it was Portuguese!**

**Edward: well, Portugal is next to Spain, so its possible that they use hola as a greeting.**

**Bella: you are so smartical! I love you!**

**(A/N: weird, I thought this chapter was longer… I must just write big.)**


	8. Chapter 8

**(A/N: ok been a long time. I've had this one written for forever but haven't typed it up. Tucker's not a person from Twilight, just a random name. enjoy, wow I'm boring today! Cheese!!! There that's better.)**

**Jasper: hey Emmett, what are you watching?**

**Emmett: new channel. it's called chiller and its beasty!**

**Jasper: Beasty?**

**Emmett: yes, beasty!**

**Jasper: where did you get that from?**

**Emmett: I made a new friend from school. His name is Tucker. He's new and said things were 'beasty' all day. He said it at least fourteen times!**

**Jasper: oh… interesting.**

**Tucker: hey Emmett is this Edward? (looks Jasper up and down)**

**Jasper: no. I'm Jasper. ( whispers: dorkfish)**

**Tucker: I heard that and that's NOT beasty!**

**Emmett: burn!**

**Tucker: good one! (high fives Emmett)**

**Jasper: I'm leaving (walks away)**

**(A/N: ok so not my best so here's another one. Wes is just another name, but there is a kid who does this at my school. Pretty annoying.)**

**Texts**

**Alice: hey Wes, what's up?**

**Wes: lol, not much**

**Alice: whats so funny?**

**Wes: lol, idk. Silly goose**

**Alice: o..k?**

**Wes: oh snap!**

**Alice: lol. Did u c what happened in science class?**

**Wes: what the cheese?**

**Alice: R u ok?**

**Wes: sure. Silly goose! Cough**

**Alice: cough?**

**Wes: I coughed. When I do it, I say it, so when I did it I texted it!**

**Alice: o…k? g2g ttyl**

**Wes: bye. Sneeze. Omg!**

**(A/N: my computer didn't like this one cuz of the lols and other abbreviations. I was going to make the other person a girl but thought it would sound funnier if it was a guy.)**


End file.
